on the paradox of ‘feminization’

I always felt more comfy in a dress

This is not a diatribe; i genuinely do not understand this.

What is the psychology behind a guy wanting a dominant Woman to ‘feminize’ him? How does mimicking the superior sex reflect admiration for that sex? i would understand it if it were just about humiliation, but that would only work if you regarded the idea of being Female as inherently humiliating, and in that case you might as well dress up as an insect as a Girl.

As far as i can tell, it must be about the destruction of masculinity. That much i can understand; a Dominant Female destroying an inferior male’s masculinity, and so demonstrating that he is unworthy of Her or of any other Woman, is a cogent practice. A sort of symbolic castration, i guess. But the active conversion of the submissive male to a characature of a Female (and often not a flattering one) is another thing entirely. Why would you want that, if you recognise Women as our superiors?

Just to be clear: i’m not having a go at anybody. i just don’t get it.

more useful than a French maid

Which brings me to another thing. Why is the popular image of Femdom so cluttered with weak-looking men? Unless you’re living in some sort of Xena fantasy then even a weakling isn’t in much danger of being forced into something he doesn’t want. It’s not like you gotta be weak to make it all make sense; it already doesn’t make sense. Isn’t the beauty of the whole thing precisely that we do want to serve and worship Women?

ok maybe that did turn into a diatribe after all.

[POSTSCRIPT: someone has suggested feminization is humiliating precisely because, when the man looks like an potato in a frock, it just proves how far from perfect (ie Female) he is. Nice try! But i think, no banana. The potato look isn’t the aim, i think.]

the main picture above in quinten massys’ ‘The Old Duchess’, a perpetual favourite with schoolchildren at the National Gallery, London.


2 thoughts on “on the paradox of ‘feminization’

  1. I’ve struggled with this one too a bit. The most compelling reasons (to me and those I’ve talked about it with) are not humiliation-based, but rather (1) I like my sub to look and feel pretty for me sometimes, to play with him like a toy, and sometimes that includes dress-up, and that makes him feel pretty and slutty, and he likes to please me so if he pleases me, he does it. (2) It can be a demonstration of the fact that “this painful, time-consuming shit – the waxing, the heels, the makeup, etc – is what women have always gone through to turn themselves into sex objects for men. Now you get to go through it to make yourself into a sex object for me, just a bit of fun and symbolic penance for their previous contributions to the patriarchy.

    I definitely don’t like it, as you say, when it’s intended to be humiliating. Wtf is wrong with being or dressing like a woman? But I also don’t like it if the intent is to make him ugly. I always want my subs beautiful, this is just one way they can be.


  2. Domme Luck

    thank You for Your comment – the sex object point is a good one, which i hadn’t considered. i did once serve a girl who sent me to the gym several times a week. That was her way of moulding me into what she wanted (and it’s something i’ve always been grateful for) so i guess i’ve always been a little cynical about how many women actually want to feminize men (rather than the men wanting it…)


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